it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
