Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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