this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
