i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
