You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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