Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize