i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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