I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize