come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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