apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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