The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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