sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
