They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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