I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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