Im at strip club and am horny
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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