That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize