Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize