Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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