My friends, they love my intelligence
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
