oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
