No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
