Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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