She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
