I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
