Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
