So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
