I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
