woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
