I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
