were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
