We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
