You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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