Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
