it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize