i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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