I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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