I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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