you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
