Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize