her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
