So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
