Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
