marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
