screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize