Cold hands, warm shart.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
