so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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