Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
