Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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