My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
