I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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