the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
