Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
