weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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