the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
