Jerry, you need to find god
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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