Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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