You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He keeps bees of course he's weird
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
