Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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