you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
