How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
