I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
