If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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