Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize