it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
