i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
