You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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