your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
